Being an Unhealthy-Healthy Eater Part I

Gentle Reader,

You may be asking yourself, “Katie, I’ve never heard of an unhealthy-healthy eater. I think you’re making it up!” You are correct. More than likely there is a formal or more widely-known term for what I’m about to discuss, but I am either unable to find it or too lazy to find it (i.e., both).

We all know what “healthy” means when it comes to diet and eating habits. Lots of protein! Fruits! Vegetables! Watch the carbs! Cut out extra sugar! Whole grains! Water! Don’t eat too much! Moderation and variety or death!

We also know what “unhealthy” means: too fatty, too processed, too many calories for too little nutrition, too salty, too much, too little, too anything.

Therefore, I define an unhealthy-healthy eater as a person who has unhealthy habits when eating healthy food. I am one of these people. Hi, my name is Katie, and I’m an Unhealthy-Healthy Eater. Hi, Katie.

You may be thinking, “Well if you know it’s a bad thing, change it!” Unfortunately for me, it’s not so simple.

Let me start out by saying that I have ZERO external factors that prevent me from eating well. I have access to a grocery store that carries everything I’ll ever need. I have enough money to afford quality foods. I have the appliances required to keep, store, and prepare said food. No problem, Bob.

[START SOB STORY]
My inability to be a healthy eater comes from the inside. Yes, gentle readers, my very soul cannot handle the enormity of consuming another living being.

NO, no no, just kidding. I wish it was only so ridiculous. Alas, my eating problems come from indigestion. And no, I’m not talking about heartburn or GERD (GastroEsophageal Reflux Disease), or IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), or any other common digestive disorder that can be wham-bam-thankyouma’am neatly defined and treated with an OTC (over the counter) medication or homeopathic remedy. Nope, I’m talking about an unpredictable mystery illness that results in abdominal pain of Chestburster proportions and a myriad of distressing symptoms with disgusting responses.

I’ll post about my physical experience (maybe someone Googling his/her symptoms will find it!) later, along with the psychological impact and other implications. For now, here’s a quick rundown: I avoid certain foods due to digestive issues. It’s bad to cut out food groups completely. Even if I did eat the foods that give me issues, I wouldn’t be able to digest them anyway. What’s a girl to do? Do I just give up and not eat particular foods and not even give my body the chance to absorb the nutrients it needs? Or do I give it a go, suffer for it, and still not get the nutrition I need?

Usually I go for the former. I wimp out. My diet is boring. My nutrition sucks. I take a medication that helps me better digest food. Actually, I take pancreatic enzymes that are derived from a pig's pancreas. Yes, I am part pig. I absorb pig powers. Fear me *oink*. However, there's nothing quite like all-natural, human pancreas juices, so it's not a miracle worker. I'll take what I can get.

I eat the same things everyday. Greek yogurt, granola, applesauce, protein drink mixed with fruit juice, protein bars, and a whole lot of fruits & vegetables.

See, it certainly sounds healthy, but holy nutritional deficit, Batman! This is a lot better than how I was in the months before my gallbladder was removed (another long story). Every meal was one bowl of cereal. Every. Meal. I consider my current diet a massive improvement. However, even sticking to "safe" foods isn't a guarantee that I won't have symptoms. My digestive system has a mind of its own.

To Be Continued!

Are you an unhealthy-healthy eater? What good habits do you have, or what bad habits should you change? Do you have digestive problems? How do you combat them?